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You Know You've Got a Chronic Illness When...

*You take more pills than your grandmother and grandfather combined

 

*The nurse asks if it’s your first bloodwork and then she looks at your file and understands by the thickness of it that you’ve probably had tons already. . .

 

*You tell that nurse to use a blue butterfly instead of the green one

 

*Your medical file is thicker than your 92 yr old grandfather. . .  and you’re only 10.

 

*Your boyfriend thinks PMS is nothing compared to your mood swings due to Steroids

 

*You’re more worried about your bloodwork results than the mark you’re gonna have on your math exam

 

*You show the nurse which vein to use for the IV

 

*You tell the new nurse to stop waiting for the "black tube" to be full of blood, as it’s the one for the sed rate and you can fill only half of it

 

*Your parents can’t touch your pills because they are too toxic

 

*In your graduation book, you answer the question "place you spend most of your time" by "hospital"

 

*Your doctor calls you by your nickname

 

*The last answer of your math problem is 120 and you wish your hgb was that high

 

*Your husband thinks you’re pregnant because of your weird food cravings, but you assure him it’s due to Steroids

 

*As a child, you learned the alphabet by using acronyms such as CRP, ESR, WBC, AST, ANC, BP, etc. 

You also learned the numbers by the different dosages of your medication

 

*You know the word Midazolam isn’t a magic spell in the last Harry Potter book, but rather a sedation drug

 

*One of the nurses says you must be feeling well as she hasn’t seen you in the 2 last weeks

 

*You read this and think it happened to me!

 

*You ask for you scope pictures and the doctor laughs and asks if you’re joking. Then you say you’re a resident, aren’t you? And she answers yes (she’s going to see worse than that!)

 

*You think reading the recent studies in the medical field is much more interesting than what’s written in your local newspaper

 

*You explain the difference between T-cells and B-cells to your friend and he says : wait, I only asked you what are lymphocytes! *roll eyes* And you start over again. . .

 

*You want to name your dog hemoglobin, but then realize he’s white so you suggest Lymphocyte

 

*And then your friend asks what is a lymphocyte. . .

 

*Your biology teacher asks for your help when he has a blank

 

*You open a contest for all the nurses on the floor as which one will be able to get the IV in

 

*You don’t hide under your bed when you see the nurse bringing a NG tube

 

*You give that nurse tricks on how to insert it

 

*You find medical-related errors in the ER show

 

*You’re still full of life with a 39C fever and doing sport competitions in  an anemic state

 

*You sleep as much as a newborn and you’re 15

 

*People think you’re very intelligent after you used the words metronidazole and azathioprine in the same sentence

 

*Someone asks you in what city (ct) you were born, and you have a strange look and say you were not born in a CT scan!

 

*Your doctor knows your telephone number by heart

 

*You doctor sees you more than his own kids

 

*Your mom, who already feared dogs, decides to buy you one in hopes it helps you feel better

 

*You can perfectly write "methylprednisolone" "mercaptopurine" "aminosalicylic acid" in elementary school

 

*Your life is a rollercoaster; you used to like them. You don't anymore

 

*"Normal". What's "normal"?